Hi, guys… How are you doing? Hope you are doing well and enjoy your great holiday. I do hope I have enjoyed mine too.

Still in holiday mood? u.u

Well, today I woke up around 12 o’clock with a grumble thoughts in my brain, I was thinking about my work and my plans. The work that I was supposed to start doing last Saturday still in my bag. The plans that I have planned to do have never been succeeded. Why? YUP, I can tell you confidently that "Procrascination + my clumsiness" are the main reasons. 

How should I become a better person if I could not even control myself? I can’t control myself to finish the work that I have to do, instead I always doing something that i even don’t know what the h*** are those.

I feel like my head is going to burst now. Even, my heart is going to stop beating, I have no courage to stand up and do my work. What has happened to me?

Last few days, I even stepped into a lost world where there is only one person, myself. Again and again I was searching for the meaning of my life. What is it?

Why I felt that desperate when I don’t even know what made me felt in that way. Am I suffering depression? I have no idea. What I know is that I keep blaming myself of being so lazy, useless and hopeless. In my mind, the word "stupid" that refers to me force the dizziness in my brain. Is it only because I am thinking too much? That the feeling of being so stupid always haunting myself. -.- I have no confidence left in my soul to create my thoughts, i don’t even know what I could do now.

I have never imagined that I could be in this situation where I find myself of being so dumb (like my IQ is decreasing day by day)… Now, I have no courage at all… -.-

That’s the dizziness…

Now, Confusion of myself…

There are just too many things that this confussion have transformed and growing in my deepest mind.

1. Path that I have chosen… I try to avoid thinking about it all the time, but it just popped up everytime out of my control

2. People surrounds me.. Are they really there for me? Not being egoistic..

3. Existing burdens and problems…

hmm… I hope this will end soon…

I need a place to think and calm down… I need someone to guide me out of this black box… I need strength…

3.34 p.m now.. I haven’t started my work at all… ARghhh… i just want to give up now and leave this place.. Sometimes I feel that will be better If I don’t exist in this world.. Yeah, I am tired…

"Hope" is the thing with feathers– That perches in the soul– And sings the tune without the words– And never stops–at all– Emily Dickenson 

~rhyn(w hope)

This Love

Lyrics: Angela Aki

Music: Angela Aki

“Ai ga areba heiwa da” to
Dareka ga kuchi ni shiteita
Unazuku hito mo ireba, utagau hito mo iru

Kurushimi ga aru kara koso
Anata wo dakishimeru toki
Sono ude no yasashi sa wo
Heiwa to kanjiru no deshou

Aru toki kara mukuchi ni nari kokoro wo shimekiri
Kono koi ga hikisakare sou ni natta

*Kasaneta kono te wo
Kondo wa hanasa nai
Shinjiru chikara ga
Ai wo jiyuu ni suru

Yuujou ni sukuwaretari,
Mirai wo souzou shitari
Shiawase wa mieru keredo
Jibun wo miru koto wa nai

Yakusoku to iu watashi-tachi no KONPASU dakedewa
Kono koi wa hougaku wo miushinau no

**Kiseki wo matsu yori
Kono te wo tsunagitai
Shinjiru chikara ga
Watashi wo jiyuu ni suru

Kono koi wo osorezu ni
You don’t have to fear this love,this love~

—————————————————————————————————-
Review:
This is one of Angela Aki song which is also the single album that was released on May 31, 2006.
It is really motivating song and gives out the synergy which flows along with the music instruments and the melodious pitch. I love her sound, unique and bold, clear  and fresh, which makes me feel really enjoy her songs. The lyrics are awesome, and meaningful.

FYI, she’s also singing for english version of "Eyes on me", FF soundrack. Then recently she sings for the newest FF XII soundrack, "Kiss Me Good Bye". You should try it! 
Other fav song from her albums is "Kiss From A Rose". Nice + coolss…

Today plan:

1. do laundry n iron clothes.
2. study japanese. have to score very well for this.. yoshhh!! the only subject that i hope to score best! haha..
3. tidy my messy room.. during exam period is when the terrible condition of my room will accompany me.. haha..
4. planning for my holiday! woww.. i like to travel somewhere, but with whom n where?? i need to start planning now… before my holiday over without me travelling.. ^^

well, that’s all.. for those who are taking exam today!

my bunny send his regard to u all…

Nyuu… nyuuu.. All the best.. ^o^

take care!
~rhyn

Konnichiwa minna san…^^

hahaha.. announcement!
I have finished my 5th paper for final.. wow.. one remaining paper is Japanese..
I really wish I could score well in this semester after I have tried to quit MSN temporarily..

MSN devil byebye… I will see u again after my last paper okay? hahaa.. XD

well, I am so happy today because I just need to study for Japanese which is omoshiroi desu.. no more stress for this week.. YAY!!!

N  I hope that all of you who are still taking your final papers all the best!
Ur holiday will come soon, don’t play game ! don’t MSN! don’t being distracted by those evils.. FOCUS! U can do it!

okay, see ya soon.. I will update my blog frequently after my exam… Wishing for a lot more interesting things to happen in my life so I could post in my blog… ;p

Minna san Ganbatte ne..
me,
cheers~rhyn

Em,.. I know, most of the time I write blog were when I feel sad, depressed, stressed, confused… when everthing doesn’t work as how I want it to be…

Now, I am studying cs 105.. I mean I stop it to write this blog…
I can’t stand it..
I have read the book but I don’t understand (since 3 days ago)… What should I do now?  There are still 4 more subjects that I should digests in my brain.. Not only that I need to digest and store in my 128 MB memory, pentium 2 brain… -.-

Memorize so many overlapping experiments, surveys, methods… Then, understand and apply in the case study is just not my cup of tea…. I prefer Maths, Chemistry though sometimes I get really stress when I dun know how to solve some problems, yet I have the courage to try and try doing it again and again without a "give up" ever..

Now, Everything is different… Not Maths, not physics, not chemistry…How could I survive?  in the exam, in the future when I gratuates at the end..?

I am just too confused..
What will I get after I graduate when I don’t even absorbs the knowledge which I exactly should know.
What is the end of this journey? Will I just wasting my parents efforts to support me studying here and wasting my time here without fruits that I could show off or even I could proud of it inside myself?

What? Why? I don’t get it even until today… I am still chasing something that I don’t even know when it will even stop, where it will stop, is it somewhere that I will be able to live happily?

GOshh.. too many questions in my mind was just popping up when I got lost in this whole subjects.
What’s wrong with me? Since when have I changed become a pathetic one? Why??

If only I could turn back time…

Please… get up! everthing good is not easy to achieve, but everything bad is very easy to gain.

GANBATTE!!!  *smileee*

hiii… everyone.. :S

today, or i can say just 3 minutes ago, there was a cockroach in my room, wad a large and disgusting brown creature.. euyy….

At first, that was my roomie who was screaming as it was flying behind my roomie’s back. and I am extremely shocked.. :8

then i just use bucket to catch it and throw it away from my room.. my roomie and I were like 2 stupid girls walked out holding a box and bucket.. hahahja.. yeahh..

at least now there is no more cockroach.. but i know that dumb lizard is behind my desk… huhhh.. i hate those disgusting creatures.. yuckkk.. !

Waaa… gimana caranya w ga males, n buat pr lebih cepet n ngerti pelajaran yg di ajarin… trus bs buat assignment n dpt nilai bagus..

buat speech yg bagus n perform bagus?? gimana2???

itulah smua yg membuat saya malas.. karena apa pun yg w lakukan, hslny ga improve2… >,< sebel sebell…

Hello my friends…
How are u? Doing well? Everything is alright? I hope that u all are fine and get the best out in urselves to do great job…

Hmm, it has been quite some time i didn’t post although i have so much interesting thing to share here.. hehe.. briefly I will explain it to one post today..

First thing is that..
It was last Friday in Victoria Concert Hall… VOX POPULI Choir concert..

I felt extremely happy after our concert ended with such a great and fabulous responses from the audience (especially for the 2nd half… ^^) Though weariness is inevitable yet that was really unexpected responses… that can heal all our fatique after such great effort to practice and being scolded by the conductors…

I appreciate all the supports for the concert…. Maybe some part of mine was bit dissapointing, I am really sorry because I really nervous and I can’t really concentrated after some problem popped-up during the concert.. -.- But, still I would like to thank all of you that support the concert… Thank u v much.. XD

Secondly, after the concert, the day after the concert to be exact, I had to do some welfare activities for GTD fund raising.. Helping cooks some snacks such as "pisang keju cokelat lumpia" and "nenas goreng" .. hahaha.. have u ever tried this snacks? heheh.. nice man.. yupp.. still a very tiring day.. I almost had to always stand from 11a.m. until about 12 p.m. Then, in the end I couldn’t eat what I and my other friend had cooked.. we only tried a very small pieve of each snacks for trial..

That’s also a tiring but fun.. haha i love to participate in such events again..
I hope that i have a healthier legs so that i can stand for that long..

Then, today.. I need to get back to my study… A mountain of projects, assignments, and quizes are waiting for me to take care of..

Be strong…
Focus…
Suggestions:
Try to treat them as someone I love…
Understand them…
It will be fun if I really can see them as someone I love.. then I can be more attentive and put more effort to understand them.. without any burden,,

I will try my best to like them and love them..
That’s the way I should do now.. ^^

well, now the time shows 01.10 a.m. time to sleep and get back to study tml…
加油！！！ 
I should purchase more than 100 litres of petrol to inside myself.. hahaha XD

waaaa….
I want to get out from all of these….

>.<

dun want keep complaining like a child… but i can’t resist it!! REALLY..!

yuppp.. that’s it.. arghhhhh….
wanna screammm…
WAARGHHHHH….

sorry to make this blog disturbing… but i can’t take it anymore.. i dun feel like continue this…

Hi everyone...
i am back n i want to say that my recess week almost end.. but i still have a lot of things to do…

But today, i want to share something that really different from the other blogs of mine…
yeahh.. usually I need your support in comments, since I always write sth very sad, confuse n complex bout my life.. but today, the topic is that i want to know wad your opinion about "HOROSCOPES"..  n i also want to share that yesterday has become one of the happiest things happened in uni life.. after GTD 8..

I enjoy the whole day, including my choir practice.. hehhe

Okay, for the topic today,..
For me, horoscopes is something that can make u feel happy or down sometimes, but most of the times it gives u more energy to fire u up although my horoscopes show me not desireable thing might happen that day.. but, they usually give some advice and support so that we are not afraid of it… THat’s smthing that i found horoscope is interesting and good for me sometimes when i was bored of my life..

n today i after i read the horoscope it really give me something that makes me feel happy n high spirit to walk through my day.. although it maybe not true, but sometimes i feel it can be true.. :p
coz today, i really feel grateful after i read bout my horoscopes, it reminds me to not think bout something else that maybe just give u hurt and make u down, when in that time u forget bout something that actually give u brightness in ur life… i intepret it in that way.. wanna know wad the horoscope actually said?? it is in friendster..

so, what about u? wad is your opinion about horoscopes? have u ever think something similar with wad i feel???